Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
