What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
