Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
