You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
