I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
