just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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