I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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