I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I love having hate sex.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So I just went to clothing optional bar
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
