And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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