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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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