hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
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it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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