please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
