She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
