she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Terrible idea I love it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
