my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I will pee on everything he values.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
my poor anus
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
