My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
