OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
