remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
