He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
