He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
