do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
