great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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