this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
