There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
