I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
