just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
