I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have tasted many bathrooms
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
