you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And then my night got REAL pukey
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
