wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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