And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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