she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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