I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
