i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
