Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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