My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
