Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize