You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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