I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
