we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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