Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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