It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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