I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
