That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
