I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
