do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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