eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We have started to decorate penises.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize