butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
