Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
