Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
