i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
