i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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