FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
