I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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