Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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