We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
