good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
