i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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