Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
