I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
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It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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