You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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