she was so not down for the gang bang
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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