FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
