I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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